new blog

Hi folks,
Tish Here. I don't post here anymore, but I have a blog on everyday theology and food at nourishblogzine.wordpress.com.

Officially, Summer is here.

Feeling thankful and tired. Had a cah-razy day yesterday (have to tell ya about it sometime). I got the paper in today ten minutes before it was due. The Spring semester is over and I have 4 days off 'til Summer school starts! aaannnnnddd our friend Summer flew in this evening and tomorrow we are going to Maine and will camp at a place like this. It is her life-long dream to go to Maine. Seriously. I'm so glad we get to go with her. Summer planned the trip, but it is so fun that we get to go along and see her dream come true. It is like being one of the mice in the Cinderella cartoon.

PS Pray for no bears or storms or crazy people.

feasting and famine...and confusing the two.

So for the 3 of you that read my blog I’m sure you’ve tired of hearing me talk about not getting work done and slacking off. Okay. I hear ya. Sorry. But here’s the deal. I worked my arse off the last couple of weeks. Really. I worked sometimes for 12+ hours a day. I saw no one, hung out with no one, and even, at times, slept very little. And then, miraculously, by God’s grace, I got my draft in for my Harvard class paper. And then, even more miraculously, my professor liked my draft. I only have a few changes to make. I only need to give it about 12 more hours to make it great. And I had 4 days to give those 12 hours. Sweet.
But have I diligently worked 3 hours a day? Certainly not. What have I done instead? Truthfully, I have no idea. I checked blogs a lot, watched movies, went to the pub next door and drank cider, read more blogs, sat on my ass and stared into space, and read for fun, but mainly I just checked blogs and my email over and over for 3 ½ days now. So now, I’ll need to do the 12 hours of work tomorrow. Or do 7 hours work and have a less good paper.

Okay. And so. I literally did nothing all day. So what am I doing now? Eating Ramen noodles. I’m not even kidding. I had a lot of Ramen noodles in college, and I thought that that was enough for a lifetime. I don’t even like Ramen noodles anymore. But for some reason, on days when I do nothing-like today-it reminds me of college and like Pavlov’s dog I want Ramen noodles. So I bought two packages and hid one from my husband and ate the other. I mainly just hid it to be funny because he’s going to read this blog and see that I ate Ramen noodles, and when he does he is going to say “Baaaaaabe, What were you thinking? I don’t want you to get______________.” (Fill in blank with either “a migraine,” or “cancer,” or “sclerosis of the stomach” or all three). And, you know, he’s right. It is bad for me. And Procrastination is bad for me. So here’s my question: Why do we do things that are bad for us? I’m not exactly asking this from a purely theological perspective… (well, I sorta think everything is a theological perspective)…but what I mean is that I know about original sin. I’ve written essays about the fall. But what I’m saying is that this thing we all do-this doing stuff we know is bad for us thing-on some fundamental level is crazy. Completely insane. It’s like walking into a wall over and over again or hitting our hand with a hammer. It damages us.
Here is the great irony. You know what my paper is on? Ethical choices in eating. I’ve written 25 pages on how to eat and I celebrate by eating Ramen noodles. And I know that there is freedom for us. There is freedom to occasionally do nothing in a day and eat Ramen noodles (I don’t actually feel bad about the Ramen). But what if it isn’t occasional? What about when these things we do to ourselves form patterns in our lives? Procrastination, putting things off, and laziness are certainly patterns in my life. And what about things more profound than Ramen noodles- things like our love life or our sex life? We shan’t occasionally indulge in idolatry, adultery, tax invasion, fornication or hurting the people we love. That isn’t what freedom means. Yet, we all do these things all the time. I mean maybe your thing isn’t tax evasion, fornication, or adultery, but we all do things all the time that we know aren’t good. And on some level we even know that they aren’t good FOR US. We know that they don’t bring joy or nourishment (with the noodles this is literal) into our lives and instead bring eventual pain, but we spend lots of energy convincing ourselves that what we are doing is okay until our foreheads are all bloody and the wall has a big hole in it (and we often bruise and bloody some other people in the process). How many of us know (or have been) the girl who knows deep down that a relationship isn’t good for us but spends so much energy trying to convince herself that it is right? How many of us have something in our lives that we know is wrong and yet we elaborately justify? We are all very crazy. What can I say? I don’t even like Ramen noodles. I don’t even like sin or unbelief or blind selfishness or self-delusion.

God, give us repentance and faith. Some of Martin Luther’s final words: “Weir Sein Pettlers. Hoc Est Verum. ----We are beggars. This is true.” He was right. Crazy and malnourished. But there is a feast much better than Ramen noodles.

okay....go.

So we've been watching a lot of documentaries lately. Last night we watched the corporation. I cannot plead with you enough-Watch it. Stop what you are doing now and watch The Corporation. Or cancel what you are doing tonight and watch The Corporation. I like most documentaries and recommend them, but if I had to recommend you see only one ever again- It would be The Corporation. (Then read the Q &A on the special features). The film actually made me cry. The most important film of the last 10 years.

Quick update

I’m going to start trying to write more. (no promises). I have been working like crazy to get in a draft for a paper (which I got in yesterday). Thankfully, my professor likes the paper, so I won’t have to rework it much. It is due the 16th so I still need to work on it, but yesterday after I got it in and all today I’ve done almost nothing. I’ve just watched DVD’s and checked my email a billion times. Tonight I didn’t eat dinner. I had lunch at 4 and then I went to Christina’s at 8pm to have ice cream, so I guess coconut almond chip was my dinner. I cleaned the house tonight. One of the DVD’s I watched (with J tonight) and today I watched the entire thing again with commentary (seriously). It is a documentary (we in the house of green like…have gotten sooooooo into documentaries lately) called the Weather Underground. See it. Fascinating. Really. If you are at all interested in: the 60’s or 70’s, youth movements, social change, property damage, ethics, Viet Nam, Revolutions, sexual debauchery, growing up, learning, making history, idealism, confusion, angst, bringing down the government then, watch it. Oh also, for lunch-or almuerzo- tomorrow I’m planning on partaking of the Cheese Enchiladas that my sister gave me a recipe for when I got married. I’ve never made the recipe before and tonight I made the mix for the inside of the enchiladas. Excited about that.

Justin Martyr (complex...)

It is 12:15 am. I am not nearly half way done with a 25-30 page paper due on Friday (less than 2 days!) for my Harvard class (which I'd actually really like to do well in, if possible) and the last 2 days have by and large been really bad (for reasons of drama that i can't get into here, but would love to tell all 3 of you about someday...it's very entertaining....in the same way a trainwreck is entertaining). I am exhausted and told myself I'd work til one but probably need to call it a night. I also said that I would stay offline this week because I am out of town in study land. So of course what do you do after a doooozy of a week when you are up too late with sooooo much to do & really really need to work (or sleep)...you read your friend's blog and find out what early Christian figure you are. This is me: (I couldn't get the picture to work b/c i am technologically inadequate)

You’re St. Justin Martyr! You have a positive and hopeful attitude toward the world. You think that nature, history, and even the pagan philosophers were often guided by God in preparation for the Advent of the Christ. You find “seeds of the Word” in unexpected places. You’re patient and willing to explain the faith to unbelievers. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

hospitality that's real

This is a response to my sister's monday blogpost

I know this response is way too long, but I just had this experience and wanted to share....sorry I'm not into the whole brevity thing. i'm the same as you. I LOVE having people over and hospitality, but I'm not a good enough cook to do it without stress and I feel pressure for things to go well. Here are some things that have helped me:
1. Have a back up plan--before i cook i say to the husband, "all right what is the plan if everything taste horrible and doesn't work out?" Usually, it is indian food take out....We almost never use the back up plan, but I'm more relaxed knowing that we have one.
2. The pressure is to make it nice and fancy. But I need to get used to people coming over for things that are really really easy...at first i was embarrassed about having folks over for spaghetti and sloppy jo's but then i realized, i'm going to have way fewer folks over if i have to make it nice all the time. so i keep it real and keep it really simple. people aren't coming over for the food...there coming over for the company.
3. if you want to try something new (and by new I mean anything that you haven't made 7,000 times and can make in your sleep), limit it to like 1 new thing, not 3.
4. Banish cooking magazines. They are evil. I like looking at 'em, but like bridal magazines they set unrealistic expectations for women giving parties!
5. The smaller the crowd, the less stress.
Fancier meals--
Yesterday, we hosted our first official "fancy" dinner since we've been married...It was for 8 people. I kept from stressing by 1. having a back up plan, 2.buying the cake and bread (so i knew if all else failed, we'd have good cake and bread, 3.putting a SUPER easy appetizer out (cream cheese and jam), so even if the main dish was taking forever, people could eat something and drink 4. I made a mixed CD for myself with good in- the- kitchen songs, and started the cooking extremely early (like 3 hours earlier than I needed to) so that I could putter, talk on the phone, and drink wine while I cooked & take breaks)- I’m much less stressed if I have a ton of time and can putter. (4 1/2 because i started earlier I made everything I could early...I plated salads and put em in the fridge and made some salsa the night before, but look at the recipe and make sure you can prepare it ahead of time...)& 5. when guest came over and asked if they can help, i gave them a task...I mean, they asked, after all & I told them "I don't ususally do this sort of thing so if I forgot something major-like to set out forks or if something taste bad, just holler. really, my feelings won't be hurt" & they were happy to help . 6. It still didn't go perfectly. there wasn't room on the table for the potatoes and we had to put them on the coffee table and the asparagus on my desk! The Potatoes were okay, but I got the size of the recipe wrong so they didn't have as much of an herb coating as they were supposed to, so they were a bit boring. It doesn't matter though, a good time was had by all and a memory was made, and our friends are super loving and non-judgmental of the cooking, so if the potatoes end up having to be on the bookshelf or whatever...just go with it.
So I'm NO domestic goddess at all, but we had a good dinner and I only felt hectic for like 5 minutes of it (when everything was coming out of the oven). It helped me to remember that ultimately the party isn't about me and my cooking skills, so i can just relax and enjoy my friends...and if I freck the whole thing up, there is always indian

the flipside.

Friends,
I am terribly sorry it has been a while. I so enjoyed the week off, studying a lot, going to bed earlier, waking up early, finishing my paper and my exam and my reading( glad all that's finished), that I made it into two weeks off…Last week, I was busy times busy mainly because our so-close-as-to-be-family friend, Woody, came to hang out with us for a week, so I was busy gallivanting and catching up with him. He left yesterday. Tonight for date night, we did face masks, so if I ever figure out how to put photos on my blog (anyone know?), I have some funny ones.
In other news, I don’t know what to do with blogging now. It takes time to do it- and I’m busy and trying to go to bed earlier, but I like getting to keep up with 5-7 of you and record my day. I will never be a super-blogger like my sister because I don’t think that I really like it that much (I mean I like it sort of, but not as much as her--oh and by that I mean, I don't like like blogging as much as she does, but also I don't like blogging as much as i like her). I could just have a normal blog where I get on once a week and pontificate (I do like to pontificate), but I sorta like the daily log thing…I don’t know. For now, ‘tis enough to say that it has been a super busy 2 weeks & we love Woody. Maybe when I get the time I’ll show you some of what I wrote on…it’s about Christian Pacifism.

treading water

Now that I’ve blogged for a month plus, I’m going to take the week off because 1.) This week I have a paper due, an exam, and approximately 700 pages that I sort of need to read, so I could use one less thing to do. 2.) I could use time to decide what I want to do with the blog--- whether to continue blogging or not and/or change the format or not.
Anyway, today I met with a professor, hung out with J’s friend Kendall, who I respect and enjoy and am thankful that I married into her friendship, and researched at Harvard. If you are the praying-sort, pray for me this week, and I’ll catch ya on the flip side.

running on empty

Our Sabbaths are typically very restful. And today it was very good and fun, don’t get me wrong, but we have guests—our roommate’s parents (and out roommate doesn’t get in until tomorrow!) and J’s best friend from college, Kendall. We woke up to a wake-up call from our pastor. Husband currently teaches an adult-ed class, and our pastor was afraid he’d miss it b/c we’d forget the time change, and he would have been correct. So after being awakened unusually early, I couldn’t fall back asleep. After church, we spent the day walking all over Cambridge and the north-end (and ate out which we don’t usually do on Sundays). This week promises no rest with big papers/test due. I feel happy to see a friend, but sad to start another week so worn-out. I can’t keep going like this.

Today I wanted to see the ocean...and I got to. Now I want to see my pillow.

I accomplished zero studying all day which is a shame because I wanted to work a lot. But I had made plans to see Becky, so I drove to her house, stressed and worried about the test and papers that are due soon and really sad about the struggles of a friend of mine. But the time with Becky was a blessing and felt like God helping me on a hectic, somewhat sad day. We walked along the breathtaking Northern Atlantic enjoying the slightly warmer (45 degrees) and sunny weather. Hot tea and the ocean with Becky is a treat. Then, I talked to Katie and cleaned. Again, exhausted. Why am I so tired lately?

settling my brain for a long winter's...

I’m utterly exhausted. I went to bed late last night. Then, woke up at 5:45am to walk to Harvard square by 6:30. Later, J & I hung out with our pastor who complicated things by telling us that though he supports our leaving that he’d love for us to stay and keep working for the church and that he’d figure out a way that we can essentially get a raise. This was both flattering and confusing. But mostly flattering. But also confusing. We love our life, friends, church, work and neighborhood here, but I miss family terribly. Anyway, I took a shower, then read, and ate dinner with Rob. Now I’m nigh passing out tired.

tired and inspired

I went to class for 7+ hours today and finished a paper. In class tonight, we watched a documentary on Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was fascinating and courageous and heroic. I think I may write a paper on him. Maybe I’ll share more about him later. I think I need a bit more order in my life, so I’m going to try to go to sleep earlier….starting now.

tonight, my life reminded me of a sit-com

Friends stopped by who live less than a five minute walk from us. Then, I walked to the grocery store and bumped into a guy who I volunteer with on Tuesday nights. Then, I dropped off a book to some friends who were at Bukowski’s (one minute walk from my house). At Bukowski’s I saw two guys who I know from the coffee shop next door to my house. Then on my way home, I ran into Seamus, who works at the bar next door to me. After J got home, we went to Bukowski’s to meet our friends, and ran into our neighbor who came to have a drink with us. It’s like a little town here…a really cool little town. I love walking everywhere and recognizing so many people. I love the mixed-use buildings, and how close our friends are. I love that the bar next door has a special mystery drink that isn’t on the menu and they make just for me. I feel like such a part of the community. I will miss it so much when we go.

Dancing is made up of little steps.

So I'm experimenting with no word limit....I'm not sure I like the lack of word limit but anyway....here ya go:

My lovely sister wrote about my blog, and it got me thinking, so I thought I’d talk a bit more of how this “what you do with your day is what you do with your life” thing has come to be important to me (and because my month is up, this will be longer than usual, because I don’t have time to make it shorter). I, like my sister, am a dreamer. I constantly scheme plans, make up scenarios for the future, and like her, make up non-existent children’s names. (I have like 7 picked out and don’t want 7 kids so not sure how that will work out). But sometimes I get overwhelmed by my current seeming aimlessness and freak out (like I did this weekend) and realize I don’t know what to “do with my life.” And I want God to give me the 20 year plan or hey, I’ll settle for the 2 year plan. But really, we don’t figure out what to with “with our life”- We can only figure out what to do with our day. We have today, and we can only live in today…we can only follow God in today. And that is very freeing because it means I just take the next baby step and don’t worry about tomorrow. Much less, worry about this big scary thing out there called “my life.”
The other thing I noticed several years ago is that I dream all these grandiose things for how I want to live my life. So I think about how I want my life to be spent on loving friends well, spending time with people I love, praying, seeking God, eradicating poverty, taking time to notice beauty, worshipping, laughing, slowing down, learning, contributing, living in truth, not stressing…et. al. But none of this actually translated into real life because I spent my days doing well, um, not that. Doing nothing or wasting time or spending time rather selfishly or foolishly or just being stressed out. So I realized (and now I always remind myself) that I don’t need to think about what “my life will look like,” but need to live well today because what I spend my days on is actually what I spend life on. (In other words don’t expect my life to help eradicate poverty if day-to-day I sit on my ass watching Seinfeld dreaming about someday volunteering…. This makes me a bit more honest with myself about how I’m actually living life because life, I’m reminded, does not reside in my imagination.) My life is not made of dreams. It’s made of days. And so I want to live in today. And struggle today. And enjoy today. And seek God and enjoy God today. And love people today. And follow Jesus today. And hopefully laugh some today. And cuddle with my husband today. And learn something today. And teach something today. And help (in my teeny way) to alleviate the suffering caused by poverty and homelessness and injustice today. And serve the church today. And maybe even cry today. And repent today. And believe today. And if I do that for enough days, then, life, lo and behold, has been lived. (But as you can see from the last month, I'm still working on spending my days in ways that I'd like to spend life...)

Grateful

I’m writing early because I’m going out for date night to Spice and Rice and want to go to sleep earlier. Studying next door in the coffee shop earlier I had a beautiful moment. I sat with my yummy vanilla steamer with cinnamon at the best window seat in the house staring at the streets and row houses and fire station. "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" was playing. Astonishingly, the sun was beaming and it started snowing pretty hard at the same time. I’ve seen it rain while the sun shined, but never snow. The sun made the falling snow sparkle and look alive and mysterious and beautiful. I just stared until the snow slowed.

I think maybe that I am...because I feel crazy...azy...azy

I’m physically addicted to Sunday down-time. After church, Brett and Amy came over and surprised us with Arrested Development (season 3), which we all watched for hours before having dinner with some other friends. Now, I feel nervous and don’t know why. Isn’t that weird? Where does phantom nervousness come from? Or nervous energy? Does anyone else ever feel fear (or anxiety) without a referent? It very rarely happens to me, but every so often, like now, I have mysterious nervous energy. I didn’t rest as well as I normally do on Sunday, which may make me a bit looney. No quiet. No time to think. Fun, but busy and now I feel off.

One Month Birthday- O-Puh-lease....

Today, I reached my goal---blogging everyday about the day’s activities for a month. Now, I’ve some decisions to make. I could: 1. Keep going just the same. 2. Stop blogging all together. 3. Keep blogging but remove the word limit. 4. Keep blogging with the limit but not everyday. 5. Blog about whatever, whenever, for however long. 6. Get rid of the internet in my life all together a la Wendell Berry (the most radical, but sounds slightly luxurious. Ahhhhhhhhh, No email.) I’m not sure what I want to do yet. I’ll think on it. A big thanks to my five beloved readers for a month of reading and/or comments. More about decisions coming soon….

chicken soup anyone?

I’ve been feeling a cold starting for several days and when I woke up- Whammo-my head was all stuffed up. I was coughing and I felt awful. I did this to myself. I haven’t been taking care of myself lately—not eating well or sleeping enough. Physically, I’m not terribly hearty and if I don’t care for myself, it always catches up with me. Dr. Husband ordered that I do no work and stay in bed. I’m pretty lazy, but today it was actually hard for me—I got bored and had all this weird nervous energy. But on top of the bad cold, I got a migraine, so I slept and whined and convalesced all day.

A laughter filled moment...I'd tell you more if it weren't for my damn word limits.

I love our roommate. We had a long, funny conversation about rockabilly & pompadours. Excerpt:
Roommate: I’m thinking of getting a pompadour.
Me: No. You can’t get a pompadour.
R: Why not?
M: You’ll have to change your clothes, the shows you go to, and stop hanging out with us and hang out with pompadour people …(Later)
It’s just like when Seinfeld almost had an orgy.
R: Yeah, he’d have to have orgy friends.
M: It’d be a pompadourgy.
R: Why would I have to have new clothes?
M: Because a pompadour says “I’m trying to be hip” and your clothes say, “I’m just this guy that wears clothes because they are required by society.”

the best moments can't go online, which is frustrating

After a little studying and class, I trekked across town on the o-so-slow green line to see a documentary about Dorothy Day. It was AMAZING, and the discussion after was helpful and potentially revolutionary. I am tempted to write more, but 1.) it’s late and my throat hurts so I should sleep 2.) I think that there is no way given the medium to adequately convey the power and depth of the whole thing (I may try to later, but I’ll let it simmer). Anyway, I’m glad I went. After coming home, I called Katie and didn’t get her, watched Indiana Jones with J, and now I’m going to sleep. (feeling overwhelmed by work).

scary movies

Hey there-it's J again. Green like... couldn't blog tonight because I commandeered the computer in order to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose . This is quite literally one of the best movies I've seen in awhile. An incredibly well-acted horror film that raises the question of the validity of the spiritual realm. Is there such a thing as demonic possession? Can such phenomena be explained away in psychological fashion? The interesting thing about the film is that it shows vignettes from Emily's possession from a "spiritual" vantage point and then revisits them, portraying them as psycho-somatic phenomena. The spiritual portrayals yield some of the most frightening footage I've ever seen in a movie. Interestingly, the director, Scott Derrickson, is a Christian and graduated from Biola University's film school . In this interview with Christianity Today , Derrickson states why he thinks horror is a film genre more Christians should be on board with:

"In my opinion, the horror genre is a perfect genre for Christians to be involved with. I think the more compelling question is, Why do so many Christians find it odd that a Christian would be working in this genre? To me, this genre deals more overtly with the supernatural than any other genre, it tackles issues of good and evil more than any other genre, it distinguishes and articulates the essence of good and evil better than any other genre, and my feeling is that a lot of Christians are wary of this genre simply because it's unpleasant. The genre is not about making you feel good, it is about making you face your fears. And in my experience, that's something that a lot of Christians don't want to do.

To me, the horror genre is the genre of non-denial. It's about admitting that there is evil in the world, and recognizing that there is evil within us, and that we're not in control, and that the things that we are afraid of must be confronted in order for us to relinquish that fear. And I think that the horror genre serves a great purpose in bolstering our understanding of what is evil and therefore better defining what is good. And of course I'm talking about, really, the potential of the horror genre, because there are a lot of horror films that don't do these things. It is a genre that's full of exploitation, but the better films in the genre certainly accomplish, I think, very noble things."

I heartily recommend The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Go rent it tomorrow. Incidentally, Green like... will be back tomorrow with her shorter posts.

I can make up words as long as I state my presupposition as an un-objective, reformed, female, left-center, texan, evangelical, lutheran post-modern

I spent most of today with Weber’s Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism, a truly challenging book. He totally mischaracterizes Calvinism (and the Puritans). No Calvinist in the history of the planet would agree with his picture. He has the annoying tendency of modern scholars to claim objectivity and then go on to report “facts” that are completely un-objective. Nevertheless, he has some very intriguing things to say and made me think a lot about this heritage that I inherit from the Puritans, and the Enlightenment and the other ingredients that make “the American.” I had hot port at the Druid for date night and J and I had a good, important talk.

1 sunday of lent-a good day

After church, we had a Mercy Ministries meeting that (Thanks be to God) went quite well. Then, the usual walk and a lovely nap. Sunday is amazing and today is no exception. I had an unusually emotional day…There is some difficult stuff in my life currently, but during the week I went so fast in consumption/production mode that there was no space to feel, so today my heart felt atrophied. I made tea, lit candles and incense in the faux-fireplace, and journaled, knelt, prayed, and felt. The painful stuff is still just as painful, but I stopped long enough to hear the words of the Father reminding me that I’m not orphaned. And that’s enough.

My sister's birthday-I couldn't get her. I left a message.

I studied for not-long-enough. (I have SO MUCH to do by Wednesday.) Some friends and I walked around the common and public gardens glistening in the snow. Then tried to go to the top of the prudential building, but they charge. We had a drink at the Druid. It’s late and I’m not ready for the Sabbath. A friend from years past who had caused me some heart-ache called. He said he had read Bonhoeffer on reconciliation and was calling to apologize for how he’d treated me. I was surprised and thankful. I told him he was forgiven a while ago and I apologized for my part. We enjoyed catching up in the clear air.

Discovering a new ability...

I got almost nothing done. I met with our pastor, but then schlepped about, napped, surfed, drank with Eric and J, and spent forever reading about Obama. (I hope he gets nominated because if not I’ll probably not vote.) It was FREEZING with a sub-zero wind tonight. This was the conversation walking home:
Me: I just am disgusted with myself for not working AT ALL today. I want to kick my self’s ass.
J: You’re probably able to do that.
I begin flailing about and can indeed kick my ass, which I do several times.
J: Hey, cut it out, it’s too cold for people to kick their asses out here. Kick your ass later.

of shalom and mexican food.

It’s reading week so I don’t have class “on the hill,” but I still have class at Harvard and CUME. So I slept in. Read and wrote a paper all day. Then went to class taught by the man who wrote the book. He is a great teacher and brilliant in his articulation of the church’s call to holism and seeking “shalom” which is an organizing principle of his life and teaching. He’s from the Bronx and always says how we must interact with “cul-chah” (read: culture). I love it. Also, I crave Mexican food 24/7 now. Literally. WTF? J says I always do in the wintertime. I have no idea why, do you?

migraine central

Heido-ho, J here. Green like... wanted me to post on her behalf tonight as she is currently waylaid by a massive migraine. We thought it best that she take the night off to recuperate. Check back tomorrow for an update...

Living in today

I met with a professor for guidance about what profession to pursue & left befuddled. He was extremely kind, but clueless about what I should do and I don’t think he can figure it out. Walking home I realized that I can’t abstractly figure out what I should do either. I figure it out by living life. All I can do is concentrate on following Jesus in today because what is a life made of if not a bunch of “todays”? So today I didn’t study enough, but got to talk to my sister and turned in a paper, made tacos, wasted time surfing, and helped plan a coffeehouse for homeless youth. A good today.

Writing day

I worked on a paper for my Harvard class all day and then went to The Thirsty Scholar with J. It was intimidating because I’m scared of going to Harvard and looking dumb and then I’d not only feel dumb, but be fulfilling some evangelical stereotype. But I wrote the paper and its too long…though practicing shortening things to 111 words everyday for the last 2 weeks, actually made me tighten up the paper more easily. Good practice! Speaking of, you may have noticed, I upped the word count to 115 just cause I felt like it and I’ve been writing for 2 weeks. Though this post is only 110.

Out of my shell and comfortable with skin.

During wintertime, I hole up and get depressed. Sabbath keeping brings redemption by drawing me out. J and I went to the Charles, which was frozen and I walked on it!!! We don’t spend money on the Sabbath, but we have a “birthday-clause” for loved ones’ parties. My friend Caroline’s birthday bash was at Cantab, which seems a surprising sketchy hang out for middle-age secretary motorcyclist with large arms and comic-book guys. But I had a ball, and as I danced in a circle of beautiful women from church I felt girl power and connection with a community. I had the band dedicate a song to Caroline and we toasted to her living another year.

Some happy times in today

Exciting day:
1. Got word that Faith and Jen had their 1st and 2nd babies (respectively)!
2. We prepared for the Sabbath tomorrow. I made Marakesh Lamb Stew, cooking with a slow-cooker and rutabaga for the first time ever.
3. I took a loooong study break to go to a prayer meeting for a man at my church who is currently having a harder time than I can imagine. Seeing the humility, commitment, and thick, strong love of fellow church members was beautiful.
4. Read an article on the advent of the clock and its cultural consequences. Fascinating.
5. Found out when Harry Potter is coming out. I did a dance.

A random, boring post from a random, fun day.

While studying today, I was distracted and spent a lot of time and energy worrying about the future, grades, and my professor. I realized that I over-fear failure and over-worship success. Counter-intuitively, this de-motivates me to work. I love learning, but when my heart gets all wrapped up in “achievement,” I freak out and avoid trying. So, I repented and prayed. Tonight, J and I celebrated Valentines Day Belated. He made a great dinner and had flowers and wine waiting when I got home from studying!! I talked to J about my realization. He said he’ll like me the same if I make all C’s. I mostly believe him.

Random thoughts passed my bed time

It’s freezing. I slept WAY too late. I didn’t want to leave a warm bed. I went to class for 8 hours. While driving home I passed PU PU HOT POT. Our car got stuck in the ice.I don’t have much time to write because I didn’t get home from class until 11pm. I’ve been unmotivated to work lately. This may be part Seasonal Affective Disorder, but part Laziness Affective Disorder. So I’ve been thinking…what should motivate me to work? When I have more time I will explore this, though I have no idea how to fit it in 111 words, and maybe I’ll abandon the word goal all together.

Day 2 of: The Week of Time, Keeping Time

I’m going to write about time this week because I’m having a hard "time" with it and we’re studying it in class. As it says in my profile, the point of O-Puh-lease is to see how I spend my days, and therefore, my life. So far, it seems I spend most of life wasting time and feeling guilty about it. Pretty depressing. This is evident all the more because my husband is as productive as Johnny-five.
Everyday Conversation:
Me: What did you do today?
Husband: Oh…Finished all reading for the semester, did the laundry, graded papers, and saved a small child from shark attack. You?
Me: I watched Seinfeld and pottied.

Tuesdays thoughts

Went to class, then I should have studied. Instead I: talked to a friend, checked email, read blogs, talked to another friend, read the paper, read a journal article, visited the registrar, checked email, checked regular mail, and had coffee with a friend. I worked about 30 minutes. The coffee with the friend was great and tonight I volunteered, but most of the day seemed to just slip away. What do you think of time? We spend it, save it, avoid it, fear it, waste it, redeem it, keep it, lose it…but what is it to live in it? How much “down time” do you need? work? social time? I'm unsure.

Just a Monday & I'm Super Tired

I don’t have class on Monday, which makes it a great day to get a lot of studying in, so I spent a long time at Harvard Library. I read Chrysostom and Clement of Alexandria (church fathers) on wealth and poverty, which was interesting, convicting, and confusing. I feel privileged to be able to study this. It’s for a class called “Work, Consumption, and Globalization” which I have really enjoyed so far. For date night J & I were planning to have a big talk about upcoming life decisions, but we were both exhausted, so we just vegged. I’m trying (and failing) to get to bed early…I still need a rhythm.

Sabbath worship

The best day of the week. I went to church, had lunch with friends, read Hauerwas, & went on the traditional Sunday walk where we discovered a citadel from 1775 on top of which you can see the whole city. The setting sun made the sky orange, the steeples silhouettes, and the giant skyscrapers glow like candles. I stood there-- lingering, marveling, silent and praying. Looking over all of Boston, I remembered the cry of Jesus from another hill: "Jerusalem, Oh Jerusalem." The tear that ran down my cheek surprised me. I don't know if it came because of the cold wind that hit my face, or my own heart dethawing.

Just another cold, happy (feet) Saturday- blog is 1 week old

I got up and saw Happy Feet , which was over-dogmatically anti-dogmatic and pretty preachy, but also very fun. (What is better than dancing penguins?) My erratic schedule caught up with me and after the movie, I got a really bad migraine. J and I normally clean and make meals together to prepare for Sunday, but today I mostly sat in the dark in pain while my husband cleaned the whole house spotlessly, went shopping, and even brought me home a surprise (chocolate!) My migraine got better and we had a fun dinner. Thank God for J—a touchable embodiment of grace. Today was unproductive, but all in all, a good day.

days like this...living in time

Today I felt like time and sloth defeated me. Totally unproductive. I got up late, read about Anna Nicole when I should have been studying, and watched TV. On days like this, I feel ashamed and wasteful & get grumpy and snippy with Husband. Yet today held redemptive moments also- a good, important meeting with our pastor, washing dishes to Over the Rhine while drinking Chardonnay, and late-night wine and catching up with our friend Jeff, who spent the night. One of my biggest struggles is to live in time, neither wastefully or worriedly, but honestly, faithfully, responsibly and freely. Today was a step backward, but there’s always tomorrow. G’night.

So much for rhythm...

Right before I was going to crawl into bed last night we talked to a good friend who is hurting these days and ended up taking him out to the Druid for a beer. It was pretty fun, but I woke up exhausted and with a migraine. I rolled out of bed, took some Advil, grinned at how, no matter how much I want to be, I’ll never be a “together” human being, and went to class in the Mooney Suzuki Tee that I had slept in. Laundry’s piling up, husband’s sick, cupboard’s bare, and I was sadly lazy tonight. I’m definitely not together. (However, I did enjoy the White Russian!)

On settling down and settling in

Somewhat unproductive...I woke up late, went to my Harvard class, studied, had dinner (Husband cooked!), watched Seinfeld, called Katie… soon I’ll shower & go to bed. A blessed, (mostly) normal day. There was a time when I avoided rhythm, wanting every day to be loaded with unique adventures and high drama. Now, I crave it. I still need adventure and risk or I become smaller and myopic, but without a rhythm- a liturgy of life- I forget what’s true and lose my bearings. I haven’t found my rhythm here yet, but I hope that by God’s gracious leading I will soon because I’m pretty worn out from the last month.

A moment in my day

After class while studying at a coffeehouse next door…

An old man with a weak voice & tattered coat comes in.
Manager to trainee: This is [man’s name]. He lives upstairs. If he ever has trouble and comes here, call me. Give him some of those cookies.
Man: (quietly) There was a mix-up with my health insurance. I have to pay for my own medicine for a while…
Manager: So only pay us $250 instead of $300 rent.
Man hesitates.
Manager: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. [The owner] is richer than God…

Her kindness made me thankful.

Slurring drunk/high guy comes in.
Guy: How much are burritos?

Dude…you’re in a coffee shop.

A very Cantabridgian Day

We met the brothers Hinson for breakfast in this greasy-spoon landmark, where the accents are as thick as the coffee. I studied at Harvard long enough to be proud of myself. Then, I met Leanne at Darwin’s and we told secrets. For date-night, we braved the sub-zero wind to go to Finale, the most amazing dessert bar ever. We walked home wondering if trees get cold. J said they hibernate. I said that they’re just like people—their life-force is underground, so the ones you swear are strongest and build your house under can fall over in a storm, and the ones you think will never make it, God grows.

Superbowl Sunday

We practice Sabbath keeping. Practice is the operative word because we don’t know what we’re doing. We’ve always begun Saturday evening, but today, for the first time, we began Sunday morning. We went to gathered worship, had lunch with Eric, and walked past ee cummings birthplace. I caught up with Faith who will have her baby any second now. Normally we clean the house and prepare meals the day before, but we were unprepared this week and had to cook – I tainted the day the day with my own perfectionism and disappointment, but there was forgiveness for me and laughter, Jonathan’s pipe’s aroma and The Last Battle. I’ll keep practicing.

Sat. 2/03/07

Plan for the day: study, clean, send a letter, laundry. But I got up late, hung out with my roommate and my husband, took a slow shower and read blogs for far too long. With husband's chastising voice in my head and significant guilt, I snapped out of my lazy-haze to go work, vowing for the billionth time never to read blogs or waste time again. I put on my green hello kitty shirt, and set out to get some work done today next door at the coffee shop. But then, before I left, I had an idea and started this blog. I guess the no blog thing’s out. I’m off…