the best moments can't go online, which is frustrating

After a little studying and class, I trekked across town on the o-so-slow green line to see a documentary about Dorothy Day. It was AMAZING, and the discussion after was helpful and potentially revolutionary. I am tempted to write more, but 1.) it’s late and my throat hurts so I should sleep 2.) I think that there is no way given the medium to adequately convey the power and depth of the whole thing (I may try to later, but I’ll let it simmer). Anyway, I’m glad I went. After coming home, I called Katie and didn’t get her, watched Indiana Jones with J, and now I’m going to sleep. (feeling overwhelmed by work).

scary movies

Hey there-it's J again. Green like... couldn't blog tonight because I commandeered the computer in order to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose . This is quite literally one of the best movies I've seen in awhile. An incredibly well-acted horror film that raises the question of the validity of the spiritual realm. Is there such a thing as demonic possession? Can such phenomena be explained away in psychological fashion? The interesting thing about the film is that it shows vignettes from Emily's possession from a "spiritual" vantage point and then revisits them, portraying them as psycho-somatic phenomena. The spiritual portrayals yield some of the most frightening footage I've ever seen in a movie. Interestingly, the director, Scott Derrickson, is a Christian and graduated from Biola University's film school . In this interview with Christianity Today , Derrickson states why he thinks horror is a film genre more Christians should be on board with:

"In my opinion, the horror genre is a perfect genre for Christians to be involved with. I think the more compelling question is, Why do so many Christians find it odd that a Christian would be working in this genre? To me, this genre deals more overtly with the supernatural than any other genre, it tackles issues of good and evil more than any other genre, it distinguishes and articulates the essence of good and evil better than any other genre, and my feeling is that a lot of Christians are wary of this genre simply because it's unpleasant. The genre is not about making you feel good, it is about making you face your fears. And in my experience, that's something that a lot of Christians don't want to do.

To me, the horror genre is the genre of non-denial. It's about admitting that there is evil in the world, and recognizing that there is evil within us, and that we're not in control, and that the things that we are afraid of must be confronted in order for us to relinquish that fear. And I think that the horror genre serves a great purpose in bolstering our understanding of what is evil and therefore better defining what is good. And of course I'm talking about, really, the potential of the horror genre, because there are a lot of horror films that don't do these things. It is a genre that's full of exploitation, but the better films in the genre certainly accomplish, I think, very noble things."

I heartily recommend The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Go rent it tomorrow. Incidentally, Green like... will be back tomorrow with her shorter posts.

I can make up words as long as I state my presupposition as an un-objective, reformed, female, left-center, texan, evangelical, lutheran post-modern

I spent most of today with Weber’s Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism, a truly challenging book. He totally mischaracterizes Calvinism (and the Puritans). No Calvinist in the history of the planet would agree with his picture. He has the annoying tendency of modern scholars to claim objectivity and then go on to report “facts” that are completely un-objective. Nevertheless, he has some very intriguing things to say and made me think a lot about this heritage that I inherit from the Puritans, and the Enlightenment and the other ingredients that make “the American.” I had hot port at the Druid for date night and J and I had a good, important talk.

1 sunday of lent-a good day

After church, we had a Mercy Ministries meeting that (Thanks be to God) went quite well. Then, the usual walk and a lovely nap. Sunday is amazing and today is no exception. I had an unusually emotional day…There is some difficult stuff in my life currently, but during the week I went so fast in consumption/production mode that there was no space to feel, so today my heart felt atrophied. I made tea, lit candles and incense in the faux-fireplace, and journaled, knelt, prayed, and felt. The painful stuff is still just as painful, but I stopped long enough to hear the words of the Father reminding me that I’m not orphaned. And that’s enough.

My sister's birthday-I couldn't get her. I left a message.

I studied for not-long-enough. (I have SO MUCH to do by Wednesday.) Some friends and I walked around the common and public gardens glistening in the snow. Then tried to go to the top of the prudential building, but they charge. We had a drink at the Druid. It’s late and I’m not ready for the Sabbath. A friend from years past who had caused me some heart-ache called. He said he had read Bonhoeffer on reconciliation and was calling to apologize for how he’d treated me. I was surprised and thankful. I told him he was forgiven a while ago and I apologized for my part. We enjoyed catching up in the clear air.

Discovering a new ability...

I got almost nothing done. I met with our pastor, but then schlepped about, napped, surfed, drank with Eric and J, and spent forever reading about Obama. (I hope he gets nominated because if not I’ll probably not vote.) It was FREEZING with a sub-zero wind tonight. This was the conversation walking home:
Me: I just am disgusted with myself for not working AT ALL today. I want to kick my self’s ass.
J: You’re probably able to do that.
I begin flailing about and can indeed kick my ass, which I do several times.
J: Hey, cut it out, it’s too cold for people to kick their asses out here. Kick your ass later.

of shalom and mexican food.

It’s reading week so I don’t have class “on the hill,” but I still have class at Harvard and CUME. So I slept in. Read and wrote a paper all day. Then went to class taught by the man who wrote the book. He is a great teacher and brilliant in his articulation of the church’s call to holism and seeking “shalom” which is an organizing principle of his life and teaching. He’s from the Bronx and always says how we must interact with “cul-chah” (read: culture). I love it. Also, I crave Mexican food 24/7 now. Literally. WTF? J says I always do in the wintertime. I have no idea why, do you?

migraine central

Heido-ho, J here. Green like... wanted me to post on her behalf tonight as she is currently waylaid by a massive migraine. We thought it best that she take the night off to recuperate. Check back tomorrow for an update...

Living in today

I met with a professor for guidance about what profession to pursue & left befuddled. He was extremely kind, but clueless about what I should do and I don’t think he can figure it out. Walking home I realized that I can’t abstractly figure out what I should do either. I figure it out by living life. All I can do is concentrate on following Jesus in today because what is a life made of if not a bunch of “todays”? So today I didn’t study enough, but got to talk to my sister and turned in a paper, made tacos, wasted time surfing, and helped plan a coffeehouse for homeless youth. A good today.

Writing day

I worked on a paper for my Harvard class all day and then went to The Thirsty Scholar with J. It was intimidating because I’m scared of going to Harvard and looking dumb and then I’d not only feel dumb, but be fulfilling some evangelical stereotype. But I wrote the paper and its too long…though practicing shortening things to 111 words everyday for the last 2 weeks, actually made me tighten up the paper more easily. Good practice! Speaking of, you may have noticed, I upped the word count to 115 just cause I felt like it and I’ve been writing for 2 weeks. Though this post is only 110.

Out of my shell and comfortable with skin.

During wintertime, I hole up and get depressed. Sabbath keeping brings redemption by drawing me out. J and I went to the Charles, which was frozen and I walked on it!!! We don’t spend money on the Sabbath, but we have a “birthday-clause” for loved ones’ parties. My friend Caroline’s birthday bash was at Cantab, which seems a surprising sketchy hang out for middle-age secretary motorcyclist with large arms and comic-book guys. But I had a ball, and as I danced in a circle of beautiful women from church I felt girl power and connection with a community. I had the band dedicate a song to Caroline and we toasted to her living another year.

Some happy times in today

Exciting day:
1. Got word that Faith and Jen had their 1st and 2nd babies (respectively)!
2. We prepared for the Sabbath tomorrow. I made Marakesh Lamb Stew, cooking with a slow-cooker and rutabaga for the first time ever.
3. I took a loooong study break to go to a prayer meeting for a man at my church who is currently having a harder time than I can imagine. Seeing the humility, commitment, and thick, strong love of fellow church members was beautiful.
4. Read an article on the advent of the clock and its cultural consequences. Fascinating.
5. Found out when Harry Potter is coming out. I did a dance.

A random, boring post from a random, fun day.

While studying today, I was distracted and spent a lot of time and energy worrying about the future, grades, and my professor. I realized that I over-fear failure and over-worship success. Counter-intuitively, this de-motivates me to work. I love learning, but when my heart gets all wrapped up in “achievement,” I freak out and avoid trying. So, I repented and prayed. Tonight, J and I celebrated Valentines Day Belated. He made a great dinner and had flowers and wine waiting when I got home from studying!! I talked to J about my realization. He said he’ll like me the same if I make all C’s. I mostly believe him.

Random thoughts passed my bed time

It’s freezing. I slept WAY too late. I didn’t want to leave a warm bed. I went to class for 8 hours. While driving home I passed PU PU HOT POT. Our car got stuck in the ice.I don’t have much time to write because I didn’t get home from class until 11pm. I’ve been unmotivated to work lately. This may be part Seasonal Affective Disorder, but part Laziness Affective Disorder. So I’ve been thinking…what should motivate me to work? When I have more time I will explore this, though I have no idea how to fit it in 111 words, and maybe I’ll abandon the word goal all together.

Day 2 of: The Week of Time, Keeping Time

I’m going to write about time this week because I’m having a hard "time" with it and we’re studying it in class. As it says in my profile, the point of O-Puh-lease is to see how I spend my days, and therefore, my life. So far, it seems I spend most of life wasting time and feeling guilty about it. Pretty depressing. This is evident all the more because my husband is as productive as Johnny-five.
Everyday Conversation:
Me: What did you do today?
Husband: Oh…Finished all reading for the semester, did the laundry, graded papers, and saved a small child from shark attack. You?
Me: I watched Seinfeld and pottied.

Tuesdays thoughts

Went to class, then I should have studied. Instead I: talked to a friend, checked email, read blogs, talked to another friend, read the paper, read a journal article, visited the registrar, checked email, checked regular mail, and had coffee with a friend. I worked about 30 minutes. The coffee with the friend was great and tonight I volunteered, but most of the day seemed to just slip away. What do you think of time? We spend it, save it, avoid it, fear it, waste it, redeem it, keep it, lose it…but what is it to live in it? How much “down time” do you need? work? social time? I'm unsure.

Just a Monday & I'm Super Tired

I don’t have class on Monday, which makes it a great day to get a lot of studying in, so I spent a long time at Harvard Library. I read Chrysostom and Clement of Alexandria (church fathers) on wealth and poverty, which was interesting, convicting, and confusing. I feel privileged to be able to study this. It’s for a class called “Work, Consumption, and Globalization” which I have really enjoyed so far. For date night J & I were planning to have a big talk about upcoming life decisions, but we were both exhausted, so we just vegged. I’m trying (and failing) to get to bed early…I still need a rhythm.

Sabbath worship

The best day of the week. I went to church, had lunch with friends, read Hauerwas, & went on the traditional Sunday walk where we discovered a citadel from 1775 on top of which you can see the whole city. The setting sun made the sky orange, the steeples silhouettes, and the giant skyscrapers glow like candles. I stood there-- lingering, marveling, silent and praying. Looking over all of Boston, I remembered the cry of Jesus from another hill: "Jerusalem, Oh Jerusalem." The tear that ran down my cheek surprised me. I don't know if it came because of the cold wind that hit my face, or my own heart dethawing.

Just another cold, happy (feet) Saturday- blog is 1 week old

I got up and saw Happy Feet , which was over-dogmatically anti-dogmatic and pretty preachy, but also very fun. (What is better than dancing penguins?) My erratic schedule caught up with me and after the movie, I got a really bad migraine. J and I normally clean and make meals together to prepare for Sunday, but today I mostly sat in the dark in pain while my husband cleaned the whole house spotlessly, went shopping, and even brought me home a surprise (chocolate!) My migraine got better and we had a fun dinner. Thank God for J—a touchable embodiment of grace. Today was unproductive, but all in all, a good day.

days like this...living in time

Today I felt like time and sloth defeated me. Totally unproductive. I got up late, read about Anna Nicole when I should have been studying, and watched TV. On days like this, I feel ashamed and wasteful & get grumpy and snippy with Husband. Yet today held redemptive moments also- a good, important meeting with our pastor, washing dishes to Over the Rhine while drinking Chardonnay, and late-night wine and catching up with our friend Jeff, who spent the night. One of my biggest struggles is to live in time, neither wastefully or worriedly, but honestly, faithfully, responsibly and freely. Today was a step backward, but there’s always tomorrow. G’night.

So much for rhythm...

Right before I was going to crawl into bed last night we talked to a good friend who is hurting these days and ended up taking him out to the Druid for a beer. It was pretty fun, but I woke up exhausted and with a migraine. I rolled out of bed, took some Advil, grinned at how, no matter how much I want to be, I’ll never be a “together” human being, and went to class in the Mooney Suzuki Tee that I had slept in. Laundry’s piling up, husband’s sick, cupboard’s bare, and I was sadly lazy tonight. I’m definitely not together. (However, I did enjoy the White Russian!)

On settling down and settling in

Somewhat unproductive...I woke up late, went to my Harvard class, studied, had dinner (Husband cooked!), watched Seinfeld, called Katie… soon I’ll shower & go to bed. A blessed, (mostly) normal day. There was a time when I avoided rhythm, wanting every day to be loaded with unique adventures and high drama. Now, I crave it. I still need adventure and risk or I become smaller and myopic, but without a rhythm- a liturgy of life- I forget what’s true and lose my bearings. I haven’t found my rhythm here yet, but I hope that by God’s gracious leading I will soon because I’m pretty worn out from the last month.

A moment in my day

After class while studying at a coffeehouse next door…

An old man with a weak voice & tattered coat comes in.
Manager to trainee: This is [man’s name]. He lives upstairs. If he ever has trouble and comes here, call me. Give him some of those cookies.
Man: (quietly) There was a mix-up with my health insurance. I have to pay for my own medicine for a while…
Manager: So only pay us $250 instead of $300 rent.
Man hesitates.
Manager: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. [The owner] is richer than God…

Her kindness made me thankful.

Slurring drunk/high guy comes in.
Guy: How much are burritos?

Dude…you’re in a coffee shop.

A very Cantabridgian Day

We met the brothers Hinson for breakfast in this greasy-spoon landmark, where the accents are as thick as the coffee. I studied at Harvard long enough to be proud of myself. Then, I met Leanne at Darwin’s and we told secrets. For date-night, we braved the sub-zero wind to go to Finale, the most amazing dessert bar ever. We walked home wondering if trees get cold. J said they hibernate. I said that they’re just like people—their life-force is underground, so the ones you swear are strongest and build your house under can fall over in a storm, and the ones you think will never make it, God grows.

Superbowl Sunday

We practice Sabbath keeping. Practice is the operative word because we don’t know what we’re doing. We’ve always begun Saturday evening, but today, for the first time, we began Sunday morning. We went to gathered worship, had lunch with Eric, and walked past ee cummings birthplace. I caught up with Faith who will have her baby any second now. Normally we clean the house and prepare meals the day before, but we were unprepared this week and had to cook – I tainted the day the day with my own perfectionism and disappointment, but there was forgiveness for me and laughter, Jonathan’s pipe’s aroma and The Last Battle. I’ll keep practicing.

Sat. 2/03/07

Plan for the day: study, clean, send a letter, laundry. But I got up late, hung out with my roommate and my husband, took a slow shower and read blogs for far too long. With husband's chastising voice in my head and significant guilt, I snapped out of my lazy-haze to go work, vowing for the billionth time never to read blogs or waste time again. I put on my green hello kitty shirt, and set out to get some work done today next door at the coffee shop. But then, before I left, I had an idea and started this blog. I guess the no blog thing’s out. I’m off…