So I'm experimenting with no word limit....I'm not sure I like the lack of word limit but anyway....here ya go:
My lovely sister wrote about my blog, and it got me thinking, so I thought I’d talk a bit more of how this “what you do with your day is what you do with your life” thing has come to be important to me (and because my month is up, this will be longer than usual, because I don’t have time to make it shorter). I, like my sister, am a dreamer. I constantly scheme plans, make up scenarios for the future, and like her, make up non-existent children’s names. (I have like 7 picked out and don’t want 7 kids so not sure how that will work out). But sometimes I get overwhelmed by my current seeming aimlessness and freak out (like I did this weekend) and realize I don’t know what to “do with my life.” And I want God to give me the 20 year plan or hey, I’ll settle for the 2 year plan. But really, we don’t figure out what to with “with our life”- We can only figure out what to do with our day. We have today, and we can only live in today…we can only follow God in today. And that is very freeing because it means I just take the next baby step and don’t worry about tomorrow. Much less, worry about this big scary thing out there called “my life.”
The other thing I noticed several years ago is that I dream all these grandiose things for how I want to live my life. So I think about how I want my life to be spent on loving friends well, spending time with people I love, praying, seeking God, eradicating poverty, taking time to notice beauty, worshipping, laughing, slowing down, learning, contributing, living in truth, not stressing…et. al. But none of this actually translated into real life because I spent my days doing well, um, not that. Doing nothing or wasting time or spending time rather selfishly or foolishly or just being stressed out. So I realized (and now I always remind myself) that I don’t need to think about what “my life will look like,” but need to live well today because what I spend my days on is actually what I spend life on. (In other words don’t expect my life to help eradicate poverty if day-to-day I sit on my ass watching Seinfeld dreaming about someday volunteering…. This makes me a bit more honest with myself about how I’m actually living life because life, I’m reminded, does not reside in my imagination.) My life is not made of dreams. It’s made of days. And so I want to live in today. And struggle today. And enjoy today. And seek God and enjoy God today. And love people today. And follow Jesus today. And hopefully laugh some today. And cuddle with my husband today. And learn something today. And teach something today. And help (in my teeny way) to alleviate the suffering caused by poverty and homelessness and injustice today. And serve the church today. And maybe even cry today. And repent today. And believe today. And if I do that for enough days, then, life, lo and behold, has been lived. (But as you can see from the last month, I'm still working on spending my days in ways that I'd like to spend life...)
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Matthew 6:25-34:
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Sorry for the lengthy scripture post, but this is a really beautiful passage saying just what you are here (I'm sure you had it in mind).
I find it so hard to do this. I would love for God to let me know what's to come, but He doesn't. We have to trust. I wish you luck in this endeavor. This blog certainly seems a way to make it tangible. Keep it up!
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